Here’s a few gems from their call for “consultation.” Get your smelling salts ready.
“The City of Toronto is consulting with water users and interested parties on the possible implementation of a stormwater charge,” they write, neglecting to mention that “water users” are all sentient beings living within the confines of Gulag Tee Dot.
They want to have “a stormwater charge for all property classes” – meaning, everyone will ultimately pay for the invasive wet stuff. Why? Well, just because.
Also, those pesky raindrops don’t just soak into the grass and plant life – which, last time we checked, is arguably a good thing – they sometimes dribble off into the sewers. Which, you know, were built to accommodate water that occasionally falls from the sky. But never mind.
Here in the Six, the Union of Soviet Toronto Republics, all that is now considered a bad thing. Writes the politburo:
“Stormwater is rain and melted snow. When not absorbed into the ground, stormwater runs off hard surfaces, onto streets, down storm drains and through a network of pipes that carry it into local waterways… Too much stormwater can overwhelm the city’s sewer system, which can lead to flooded basements and impacts to surface water quality in Toronto’s rivers, streams and Lake Ontario’s waterfront.”
And here, all this time, we thought rain was desirable. Apparently not. Apparently rain harms (checks notes) Lake Ontario. Gotcha.
So, the city wants to tax you for it. To calculate how much Rain Tax you will pay, the municipal apparatchiks will see how much “hard surface area” you have. They define that as frivolous and unnecessary things like “roofs, asphalt driveways, parking areas and concrete landscaping.
Now, before you have a stroke, the city’s overlords wish it known that other municipalities are just as insane. Kitchener, Mississauga and Orillia all have a Rain Tax, too. And, where goes Orillia, so goes the nation.
Because, make no mistake, Toronto-stan’s rulers really, really want to do this. They’ve tried it before, too. Back in 2017, city bureaucrats pleaded with council to go along with a Rain Tax, and John Tory – who, full disclosure, this writer worked for, and not just because he opposed taxing rain, but because he was an adult and a sane person – shut them down.
Colin
